By Yourself

“But when you pray, go by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.  Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” –Matthew 6:6

Each individual has a specially designed road to travel in life.  Though it may not always seem like it, everyone’s journey has bumps in the road at some points.  I’ve never met an “honest” person who has said that life has been perfect, always smooth, and never challenging, heartbreaking and disappointing.  The actors on television and even some unpaid actors in your life may say life’s been a piece of cake for them but honesty is not the policy of everyone you meet in this world.

I’ve been on a rough journey for quite some time now.  There’s been prayers petitioned and patience offered in a couple of areas in my life for over five years now and though God has kept me throughout this time, the answers to my prayers have not been manifested yet.  Honestly, I am very discouraged today.  As a human being my heart breaks when I know I’ve done all I can do; diligently sought God; tried with all my power to turn from the wicked, sinful things of the world; and truly attempted to walk uprightly yet the weight still hasn’t been lifted from me.  I will never say or believe that God is not working these things out for my good, even though the pain is too heavy to bear some days but I just have to accept that this is my cross to bear and instead of giving up, I have to keep pressing forward trusting in God’s plan.

I’ve been very blessed to have friends and family who know God and who are in relationship with Him.  My circle has been very encouraging to me and has prayed for me on my lowest days but through this journey, I have come to know that there are some parts of the trip that require one to travel alone.  Those times when nothing anyone can say can bring you up; when you begin to become angry with those who love you because they’re not saying what you need to hear; those times when you just feel that no one truly understands your pain and knows the details of your particular struggles.  In my opinion, these are the times when you have to walk alone; when you need to focus on hearing God’s voice only; when you have to focus all of your energy on finding strength, healing and rejuvenation form the Lord.  I’m in that place today.  Right now I feel that the only person who knows what I’m feeling and what I’m going through and the only person who can say the perfect thing to get me back up again and to get my mind back in line with God’s promises for my life is God himself.

It’s time for me to walk by myself, to shut the door to friends and family and to pray to my Father in private.  I know my reward is coming though it hasn’t showed up on my timetable.  If you’re in a similar place today, read the scripture above and take some time away with God.  He truly knows what you need and He can and will provide.

Song to listen to:  “He will supply” – Kirk Franklin