"Pray without ceasing...for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessolonians 5:17
During the last two years of my life, an exhaustion has settled in. Since coming to know God almost a decade ago, there have been things in my life that haven't gone as planned; that haven't turned out the way I thought they would; that have brought much disappointment and times hopelessness to my spirit. I am a Christian, and I do have a close relationship with God but I am also a human being with human feelings and human emotions.
I've read many devotionals that have said my feelings and emotions take control because my eyes are not fixed on Jesus and I know this to be true but again my human tendencies cause me to be drawn to what I can physically see instead of what I cannot. I haven't always looked through my eyes of faith and at times I am ashamed of that but in all of this I've created a huge sense of exhaustion, to the point where I feel like I can't even pray some days. The exhaustion has come mostly from God not meeting my timeline. Time and patience have been my worst enemies and throughout this time I've learned that God's time and our time is usually never aligned! I recently heard Joyce Meyer say "God is always on time but he's rarely early." Waiting on God to answer has been a struggle. My long list of prayers have far-surpassed their due dates and although I don't understand why, I believe God does. He can see what I can't and I am certain even as I struggle with wanting all the desires of my heart today, God is protecting me and making sure that every piece of my life's puzzle is just right to perfectly fit together. Until I see the manifestation of my prayers, God asks for one thing, that I "pray without ceasing."
It is very difficult some days to find the strength to pray the same ole prayers. It's very difficult to wake up hopeful that today is the day and go to sleep tonight without seeing the answers but in all of the trials and tribulations of this life, I've got to make a deliberate choice to keep on asking, keep on seeking, and keep on knocking until I see answers. I know God will answer one day, so I will continue to do my part even when it feels useless, even when I feel alone, even when it seems things will never turn around. I'm choosing to trust God even when I can't hear or feel Him and I am holding Him to his word for He has said that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. I'm putting my energy today into trusting Him more and believing that He will do "exceedingly, abundantly, above all I can ask or think!"
Song to listen to: "Turning around for me" -Vashawn Mitchell
Keep going. And know that I and others around you are also struggling - we can walk the walk together.
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