By Yourself

“But when you pray, go by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.  Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” –Matthew 6:6

Each individual has a specially designed road to travel in life.  Though it may not always seem like it, everyone’s journey has bumps in the road at some points.  I’ve never met an “honest” person who has said that life has been perfect, always smooth, and never challenging, heartbreaking and disappointing.  The actors on television and even some unpaid actors in your life may say life’s been a piece of cake for them but honesty is not the policy of everyone you meet in this world.

I’ve been on a rough journey for quite some time now.  There’s been prayers petitioned and patience offered in a couple of areas in my life for over five years now and though God has kept me throughout this time, the answers to my prayers have not been manifested yet.  Honestly, I am very discouraged today.  As a human being my heart breaks when I know I’ve done all I can do; diligently sought God; tried with all my power to turn from the wicked, sinful things of the world; and truly attempted to walk uprightly yet the weight still hasn’t been lifted from me.  I will never say or believe that God is not working these things out for my good, even though the pain is too heavy to bear some days but I just have to accept that this is my cross to bear and instead of giving up, I have to keep pressing forward trusting in God’s plan.

I’ve been very blessed to have friends and family who know God and who are in relationship with Him.  My circle has been very encouraging to me and has prayed for me on my lowest days but through this journey, I have come to know that there are some parts of the trip that require one to travel alone.  Those times when nothing anyone can say can bring you up; when you begin to become angry with those who love you because they’re not saying what you need to hear; those times when you just feel that no one truly understands your pain and knows the details of your particular struggles.  In my opinion, these are the times when you have to walk alone; when you need to focus on hearing God’s voice only; when you have to focus all of your energy on finding strength, healing and rejuvenation form the Lord.  I’m in that place today.  Right now I feel that the only person who knows what I’m feeling and what I’m going through and the only person who can say the perfect thing to get me back up again and to get my mind back in line with God’s promises for my life is God himself.

It’s time for me to walk by myself, to shut the door to friends and family and to pray to my Father in private.  I know my reward is coming though it hasn’t showed up on my timetable.  If you’re in a similar place today, read the scripture above and take some time away with God.  He truly knows what you need and He can and will provide.

Song to listen to:  “He will supply” – Kirk Franklin

Pour out the blessings!

“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my temple.  If you do, “says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies,” I will open the windows of Heaven for you.  I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in!  Try it!  Put me to the test! – Malachi 3:10

I’m on this weight loss journey and have been for a while.  Just recently, I joined a program and I’m eating healthier and exercising regularly and it really feels good!  I was talking to a person who’s been on the program for a while and she was saying that initially the weight may take a while to begin to disappear but in a short while things will begin to change so rapidly that you won’t even be prepared to receive the changes!  That has stuck with me for many reasons since that conversation.

That conversation has resonated with me not just on a weight loss level but on so many other levels where I am challenged in life.  As many people do, I pray daily, all through the day about things I know I can’t change on my own.  Things I am forced to wait on God to supply!  Things that are completely out of my control!  Sometimes, I pray so hard that words stop coming out and all I can do is cry until the tears stop flowing.  At those times, I rely on the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf as it mentions in the bible.  But in all of this, I do believe that God will come through for me; He will answer my prayers (I just wish I knew the date and timeJ).  The words spoken to me were absolutely right though, from past experience I know that God works so swiftly when he is finally ready to answer you that it often makes you think or say “What just happened?”  When God moves, He doesn’t wait for you to get the house cleaned or get a new dress, He just moves in ways that are supernatural and unexplainable! 

I am a tither but I know that not everyone is.  Maybe you’re thinking about starting today and that’s a decision that’s between you and God but this scripture came into mind for me this week and God has made a clear promise here; He even went as far as to say “Put me to the test!”  The bible says “God is not a man that He should lie” so I know the blessings are described in this scripture are on their way!  I don’t know about you but I’m ready for Him to pour them all over me!  “Try it!”  Put Him to the test!

Song to listen to:    “Lift Him Up!” – Yolanda Adams, Donnie McClurkin and Mary Mary

Don't Give Up!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  For at the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9

As I look around at people that I’ve known my whole life I wonder how some have thrived even in the face of adversity while others have remained stagnant.  I wonder why even those who I know have hurt others deliberately; those who have never tried to do what is right and those who seem totally selfish have managed to progress and are alive today to tell the story of how they used to be.

I’ve often sat back and wondered how this whole life and growth thing really works.  Just recently a thought hit me.  The thought was “don’t give up.”  I know in my life I go through the motions whether in one situation or another when I just feel in my heart that I just want to give up!  Sometimes it feels as though I just can’t make it another day!  There have been times when I got into bed at night completely done with life and all of its ups and downs but I’ve realized that even in those times when I awake the next morning I choose to begin again and push forward.

I have people in my life who have though, given up.  I can’t knock them because life can be really really difficult to face each day!  Thankfully, they haven’t given up in the sense of physically taking their lives but they’ve given up hope; given up trust and given up the determination to keep moving until they see a change!  They’ve decided to settle in where they are and just wait to die.  That’s a pretty sad way to live but there are many people on this earth that have decided to do just that.

Although I find myself wavering over there from time to time, I’ve always managed to find my way back to my mustard seed sized faith; that little glimpse of hope; that tiny amount of belief that as long as there’s a God things can turn around.  There’s a saying that I’ve heard since I was a child and I haven’t found it in the bible yet but it goes “God helps those who help themselves.”  There is a similar scripture that says “faith without works is dead.”  To me, both of these sayings means the same thing, we each have a role to play in God moving and turning our situations around.  We can’t give up no matter how hard things seem!  God can change things in an instant but I truly believe that we have to push past hurt and discouragement to meet God halfway.  If we give up, I believe He’ll still keep us alive but the question is do you just want to be alive or do you want to live?  And live abundantly?  It’s not easy to hear or to say this because this is my struggle as well but we got to find the drive to continue to do our part.  God knows we can’t do it all and He wants us to rely on him when we’ve done all we can do, but it’s not pleasing to him when we decide we’ll just lie down and die.  There are so many people who’ve done just that, they look like they’re alive but inside their hearts and minds they’ve died.  Make a choice with me today to never ever give up!  There’s too much to lose and too much to gain!  Don’t give up!

  

Song to listen to: “You Shall Reap” –Dewayne Woods

For "My" Good

“All things work together for good, of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose” – Romans 8:28

Everyday we talk to people.  We work with people, ride the train and bus with people, call people, and make eye contact with people.  We encounter so many people throughout each day of our lives that it’s impossible to count.  Some of these people we know, or think we know and some we’ll never have the chance to really learn about.  Though we will never be able to know them, God knows each one, inside and out.  Often, I find myself complaining about my life, my situations, my trials but usually it doesn’t take long for me to talk with someone and see that things could be worse!

Today, I thought about the scripture above.  I was listening to a song and the singer said “I don’t know your story.”  That line struck me and I couldn’t get it out of my head.  Everyone has their own unique story.  Of course some parts of some stories may remind you of your life or someone’s life that you know about, but no two stories will ever be exactly the same. 

This week, I’ve been thinking about how much God is doing in my life behind the scenes.  The battles He’s fighting to keep me alive; the doors He’s opening to promote me; the people He’s creating to show me favor; and the plans He’s laying out for each and every one of my tomorrows.  That’s a lot! And he’s not just doing that for me, but He’s doing that for everyone we know and don’t know.  All I can say is WOW! 

Even in the midst of all that God is doing, we still live with heartache and pain; we still become discouraged and disappointed when things don’t go our way; we still yearn for things and people to change and be what we want them to be.  I often try to remember this scripture and the fact that my journey, my story, and my testimony will not be like anyone else’s.  When I wonder why someone’s life seems better than mine in ways or why someone’s promotion has come before mine, I have to begin to remember that it’s because that’s the path and timeline God has carefully set for them and mine is different because I’m different.   There’s a specific and perfect plan for me and me alone!  I’m definitely working on accepting and embracing that truth today. 

Song to listen to:  “My Testimony” – Marvin Sapp

TRUST

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" - Proverbs 3:5

Trusting God would not be so difficult if we didn't have eyes; didn't have ears; and didn't have hearts.  If we didn't have eyes, we wouldn't be able to see others around us seemingly reeping all the benefits of our hard work and tears.  If we didn't have ears, we wouldn't hear people talk about how great their lives are and how everything just continues to fall into place for them.  If we didn't have hearts, we wouldn't feel the sting of pain as we get on our knees every night, begging God to answer our most desired prayers and awake the next day with the burden of that one prayer still unanswered.

I've struggled alot with trusting God, I'll admit it.  I know it's easy to trust God when all is well; when things are going smooth, when you're employed; when everyone in the family is healthy; when your relationships are going good; when there's money in your pockets; and when things look like they're moving in the right direction.  It's not so easy when your health is failing you; when the person you love has walked out on you; and when you just can't seem to find peace anywhere you go! 

I'm struggling even today with life, with unanswered prayers, with questions that noone can answer for me.  Life is hard!  After you make the decision that you're going to keep living until God says it's your time to close your eyes for good, you have to make the choice to trust God!  It doesn't feel good to trust when your eyes and ears and heart are telling you to give up!  It doesn't feel good when good things seem to happen to  people who are doing all the wrong things.  It doesn't feel good when you've prayed and cried and cried and prayed for years for your dreams to come to life, yet you still can't see them.  But one thing that is getting me through each day even now is that I do believe that God is in control.  I do believe that God has my best interest at heart.  I do believe that God is working on my behalf behind the scenes!  I do believe that God rewards those who diligently seek him!  Even though I get mad at the world and mad at God, I always find myself back on my knees, apologizing to God for doubting him and confessing with my mouth that I trust him.  Even when my heart is breaking, there's one little piece of it that reminds me that if I just keep trusting God things will begin to turn around.

Song to listen to: "I Trust You" - James Fortune & Fiya

"Stand"

"Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." - Ephesians 6:13


Daily living on this earth tends to require each individual to stand for something.  There are people who float through each day kinda going with whatever comes their way.  They go where others tell them, they do what the majority does, they want to be liked and want to lay low and not cause any ripples.  When I was younger, I tried to be like the people I just described.  I never wanted to cause any friction and I believed that if I just went with the flow everything would turn out fine.  When I became an adult I realized that I could continue to go with the flow but everything wouldn't always be just fine.  I realized that if I didn't speak up for myself, my likes, my dislikes, and my desires, I'd go through life unhappy. 

Since coming to this realization, the enemy has been busy crafting ways and situations to stir me up.  Although, I still do not consider myself confrontational, I do realize that I have a voice and that my opinion does matter and should be heard (at certain times). 

Being a praying person, I've submitted many prayer requests to God in the last few years; some have already been answered while others have yet to be manifested.  There have been times when I just tried to stay quiet, just tried to go with the flow, just tried to let things work themselves out, but after a while, I've found myself very unhappy.  At times it is best to be quiet, but then there are those times when you just can't!  I've learned that there comes a time when I must stop talking and just stand my ground.  Standing in the midst of trials is not easy and never will be but after you know that you've done all you can there's really no other choice.  Will I forget about my desires and dreams because others choose to ignore them?  Should I give up on God blessing me by answering certain prayers because it seems impossible for them to come to life?  The answer is no!

Sometimes standing means letting people or things go, it may mean taking a break from something or someone, it may mean shifting your focus, it may mean making new friends or trying new things.  It may mean any of these and some that I didn't mention, but I've come to know that God knows how much each of us can bear, He knows that we all come to an end/a wall with our trials and He wants us to know that He is there to do the rest, to handle the part that we can't. 

The things we can't seem to accomplish on our own, the tasks that seem impossible to finish, the dreams that look like they're on life support, are all the things that we have to give over to God.  Our job is then to stand up tall and stand on God's promises to complete the good work that he began when the ideas, dreams and desires were placed in our hearts.

Song to listen to: "Stand" - BeBe Winans

"You Can't Hide Your Heart"

"But I the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." -Jeremiah 17:10

Some people think that it is okay to use, abuse, put down and mistreat others.  They think it's within their rights to plot against others, to embarass others and at times to press others so hard that they break their spirit and self worth.  I know that we've all met people like these at some point in life.  There are those who hurt others and really don't intend to do so but then there are those who intentionally go out each day with the goal of making someone's life as miserable as theirs.  Because words and actions can be so damaging to others, I pray everyday that I am forgiven for the sins that I knowingly commit as well as those that I don't even know I am committing. 

There was a time in my life when I was very cut an dry and my words hurt people.  I would shrug it off when others confronted me about my harsh words or actions.  It wasn't until God allowed me to be broken down to nearly nothing that I became more sensitive to people and more careful with my actions.  I was one who didn't hurt people intentionally but I certainly didn't apologize for my behavior either.  God dealt with me and trust me if it had not been for hours and days of constatnt repentance and prayer, I would not be here today.  The world says "People who hurt people are hurting people."  This is mostly true but we all have to take responsibility for what we do to others and not lean on excuses or past hurts as a reason to go after others who likely had no part in your past pain.

This scripture says it straight, God searches all hearts and examines all motives.  It doesn't say that He examines all motives and allows you to mistreat others because you were mistreated in your past!  The last line of the scripture says "I give all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve."  That's pretty powerful!  We all need to start thinking more about how we act toward others.  God is surely watching and you may be smiling for a time but you will be given what you deserve in God's perfect timing!  "God is not a man that he would lie.'"  Start treating others just as you would want to be treated because God always keeps his word!

Song to listen to:  "I Believe God" - Martha Munizzi