Right Place, Right Time

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

The more and more you live in this world, the more you see, the more you hear, the more you wonder, the more you desire.  If you're not careful (which most of us aren't) you'll become consumed by all that you see and all that you desire.  It's really difficult to live in a world with so many people and not begin to want what they have or what you think they have.  For example, walking down the street on a beautiful sunny day, suddenly you notice another woman with an adorable baby coming your way.  You can't help but look at that baby and admire how adorable the baby is and automatically start to fantasize about your future baby and how he or she will look or be.  This is just a harmless example but it can get alot deeper than that in life.

I've been known to obsess over what I want in my life and what hasn't happened yet and why it hasn't happen yet and on and on and on.  Becoming consumed by a desire is not the healthiest way to live, it's stressful and it almost always leads to sadness and misery.

Just this week, it came to me that even though there are so many pieces of my life that are not exactly fitting together in the way that I desire...I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.  I struggle with accepting this and I battle with God about the whys and the whens but when I finally settle down and God restores my peace, I honestly believe that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be in God's grand plan for my life.  It's not what I planned at all but I'm learning everyday to accept that it's exactly what God planned!  I am the exact age that I am supposed to be, in the exact career that I'm supposed to be in, and at the exact weight I'm supposed to be at today.  I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be because I pray each and everyday for God to guide me in all that I do.  I trust God, which doesn't mean that I don't often question him (because I do).  I'm human and imperfect but when all else fails me I know that God is still right there for me.  Trusting God is an everyday activity.  It takes thought and action every single day because I'm so tempted to try to make theings happen in my own strength but the moment it hits me that God is in control and that his plan is perfect for me, a peace washes over me.  I know that one day trusting will just be a natural thing that I don't have to think about but it's a process and I know that God fully understands where I am in that process.  Today I trust that I am in the "Right place, at the Right time!"

Song to listen to: "Alwaysness" - Yolanda Adams

BREAKTHROUGH!

“I look for your deliverance O Lord.” Genesis 49:18

I’ve been going through one specific trial for the last six years of my life and admittedly I am so tired right now.  I’m weary; I feel like giving up; I feel doubtful; I feel like this trial will never come to an end.  I’m being painfully honest today because I don’t feel that being dishonest will ever help anyone, especially me.

I’ve been in real relationship with God for about six years as well.  Prior to this time, I knew about God and I attended church when it was convenient but I didn’t have a real connection with God.  There was no daily exchange of thanks or praise; there was no confidence that if I died, God would know me and welcome me into his kingdom.  I was just floating back then and even though I wasn’t aware of it, I was being carried by the prayers of my mother, grandmother and other relatives who never stopped praying for God’s protection and hand on my life.  I can truly say thank you to them and to God for refusing to let the devil have me when I didn’t know any better. 

Fast forward to today…I know that the bible says “in this life you will have trials...” but I thought that every trial had a start and end date.  With what I’ve been going through, it’s been so many long days, months and years that my belief that there is an end has been weakened.  I do believe that God is working; I do believe that God can change a situation in an instant; I do believe that God has a plan for each one of us but I just can’t understand why it’s taking so long for me to breakthrough in this area of my life.  My faith hasn’t wavered in God’s ability to deliver me from this; my faith wavers in whether God wants to deliver me from this.  I find myself asking or wondering why God won’t lift this burden from me because I am confident that He can!  Everyone keeps saying that He will.  They keep telling me to read certain scriptures, to pray, to fast and to wait and if I died and went to heaven today I know in my heart and soul that in this last six years I’ve done all these things including begging God, crying out to God, and everything else that I could think or hear of and still today I remain in this valley.  When my spirit is so heavy and I just feel like I’m about to snap, I sometimes believe it would be okay if God just took me from this earth and let me be at peace in Heaven with Him.  I know that I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this or who even feels like this today.

Since I decided a long time ago that my life would only be ended when God made it so, I know that I have no choice but to keep living, to keep looking to God, to keep begging Him to deliver me, to keep looking for that breakthrough, to keep asking Him for more peace and strength.  I don’t know when God will finally decide to deliver me from this but I do know there’s no other help I know and knowing He’s delivered me from other trials in my past keeps my faith alive.  There’s a scripture that says all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain; I’ve been blessed to see a mustard seed and I know that my faith though small today is still way bigger than a mustard seed so I keep on pressing forward hoping that today will be my day of breakthrough.

Song to listen to:  “It Shall Come to Pass” –Hezekiah Walker & LFC  

By Yourself

“But when you pray, go by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.  Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” –Matthew 6:6

Each individual has a specially designed road to travel in life.  Though it may not always seem like it, everyone’s journey has bumps in the road at some points.  I’ve never met an “honest” person who has said that life has been perfect, always smooth, and never challenging, heartbreaking and disappointing.  The actors on television and even some unpaid actors in your life may say life’s been a piece of cake for them but honesty is not the policy of everyone you meet in this world.

I’ve been on a rough journey for quite some time now.  There’s been prayers petitioned and patience offered in a couple of areas in my life for over five years now and though God has kept me throughout this time, the answers to my prayers have not been manifested yet.  Honestly, I am very discouraged today.  As a human being my heart breaks when I know I’ve done all I can do; diligently sought God; tried with all my power to turn from the wicked, sinful things of the world; and truly attempted to walk uprightly yet the weight still hasn’t been lifted from me.  I will never say or believe that God is not working these things out for my good, even though the pain is too heavy to bear some days but I just have to accept that this is my cross to bear and instead of giving up, I have to keep pressing forward trusting in God’s plan.

I’ve been very blessed to have friends and family who know God and who are in relationship with Him.  My circle has been very encouraging to me and has prayed for me on my lowest days but through this journey, I have come to know that there are some parts of the trip that require one to travel alone.  Those times when nothing anyone can say can bring you up; when you begin to become angry with those who love you because they’re not saying what you need to hear; those times when you just feel that no one truly understands your pain and knows the details of your particular struggles.  In my opinion, these are the times when you have to walk alone; when you need to focus on hearing God’s voice only; when you have to focus all of your energy on finding strength, healing and rejuvenation form the Lord.  I’m in that place today.  Right now I feel that the only person who knows what I’m feeling and what I’m going through and the only person who can say the perfect thing to get me back up again and to get my mind back in line with God’s promises for my life is God himself.

It’s time for me to walk by myself, to shut the door to friends and family and to pray to my Father in private.  I know my reward is coming though it hasn’t showed up on my timetable.  If you’re in a similar place today, read the scripture above and take some time away with God.  He truly knows what you need and He can and will provide.

Song to listen to:  “He will supply” – Kirk Franklin

Pour out the blessings!

“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my temple.  If you do, “says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies,” I will open the windows of Heaven for you.  I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in!  Try it!  Put me to the test! – Malachi 3:10

I’m on this weight loss journey and have been for a while.  Just recently, I joined a program and I’m eating healthier and exercising regularly and it really feels good!  I was talking to a person who’s been on the program for a while and she was saying that initially the weight may take a while to begin to disappear but in a short while things will begin to change so rapidly that you won’t even be prepared to receive the changes!  That has stuck with me for many reasons since that conversation.

That conversation has resonated with me not just on a weight loss level but on so many other levels where I am challenged in life.  As many people do, I pray daily, all through the day about things I know I can’t change on my own.  Things I am forced to wait on God to supply!  Things that are completely out of my control!  Sometimes, I pray so hard that words stop coming out and all I can do is cry until the tears stop flowing.  At those times, I rely on the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf as it mentions in the bible.  But in all of this, I do believe that God will come through for me; He will answer my prayers (I just wish I knew the date and timeJ).  The words spoken to me were absolutely right though, from past experience I know that God works so swiftly when he is finally ready to answer you that it often makes you think or say “What just happened?”  When God moves, He doesn’t wait for you to get the house cleaned or get a new dress, He just moves in ways that are supernatural and unexplainable! 

I am a tither but I know that not everyone is.  Maybe you’re thinking about starting today and that’s a decision that’s between you and God but this scripture came into mind for me this week and God has made a clear promise here; He even went as far as to say “Put me to the test!”  The bible says “God is not a man that He should lie” so I know the blessings are described in this scripture are on their way!  I don’t know about you but I’m ready for Him to pour them all over me!  “Try it!”  Put Him to the test!

Song to listen to:    “Lift Him Up!” – Yolanda Adams, Donnie McClurkin and Mary Mary

Don't Give Up!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  For at the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9

As I look around at people that I’ve known my whole life I wonder how some have thrived even in the face of adversity while others have remained stagnant.  I wonder why even those who I know have hurt others deliberately; those who have never tried to do what is right and those who seem totally selfish have managed to progress and are alive today to tell the story of how they used to be.

I’ve often sat back and wondered how this whole life and growth thing really works.  Just recently a thought hit me.  The thought was “don’t give up.”  I know in my life I go through the motions whether in one situation or another when I just feel in my heart that I just want to give up!  Sometimes it feels as though I just can’t make it another day!  There have been times when I got into bed at night completely done with life and all of its ups and downs but I’ve realized that even in those times when I awake the next morning I choose to begin again and push forward.

I have people in my life who have though, given up.  I can’t knock them because life can be really really difficult to face each day!  Thankfully, they haven’t given up in the sense of physically taking their lives but they’ve given up hope; given up trust and given up the determination to keep moving until they see a change!  They’ve decided to settle in where they are and just wait to die.  That’s a pretty sad way to live but there are many people on this earth that have decided to do just that.

Although I find myself wavering over there from time to time, I’ve always managed to find my way back to my mustard seed sized faith; that little glimpse of hope; that tiny amount of belief that as long as there’s a God things can turn around.  There’s a saying that I’ve heard since I was a child and I haven’t found it in the bible yet but it goes “God helps those who help themselves.”  There is a similar scripture that says “faith without works is dead.”  To me, both of these sayings means the same thing, we each have a role to play in God moving and turning our situations around.  We can’t give up no matter how hard things seem!  God can change things in an instant but I truly believe that we have to push past hurt and discouragement to meet God halfway.  If we give up, I believe He’ll still keep us alive but the question is do you just want to be alive or do you want to live?  And live abundantly?  It’s not easy to hear or to say this because this is my struggle as well but we got to find the drive to continue to do our part.  God knows we can’t do it all and He wants us to rely on him when we’ve done all we can do, but it’s not pleasing to him when we decide we’ll just lie down and die.  There are so many people who’ve done just that, they look like they’re alive but inside their hearts and minds they’ve died.  Make a choice with me today to never ever give up!  There’s too much to lose and too much to gain!  Don’t give up!

  

Song to listen to: “You Shall Reap” –Dewayne Woods

For "My" Good

“All things work together for good, of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose” – Romans 8:28

Everyday we talk to people.  We work with people, ride the train and bus with people, call people, and make eye contact with people.  We encounter so many people throughout each day of our lives that it’s impossible to count.  Some of these people we know, or think we know and some we’ll never have the chance to really learn about.  Though we will never be able to know them, God knows each one, inside and out.  Often, I find myself complaining about my life, my situations, my trials but usually it doesn’t take long for me to talk with someone and see that things could be worse!

Today, I thought about the scripture above.  I was listening to a song and the singer said “I don’t know your story.”  That line struck me and I couldn’t get it out of my head.  Everyone has their own unique story.  Of course some parts of some stories may remind you of your life or someone’s life that you know about, but no two stories will ever be exactly the same. 

This week, I’ve been thinking about how much God is doing in my life behind the scenes.  The battles He’s fighting to keep me alive; the doors He’s opening to promote me; the people He’s creating to show me favor; and the plans He’s laying out for each and every one of my tomorrows.  That’s a lot! And he’s not just doing that for me, but He’s doing that for everyone we know and don’t know.  All I can say is WOW! 

Even in the midst of all that God is doing, we still live with heartache and pain; we still become discouraged and disappointed when things don’t go our way; we still yearn for things and people to change and be what we want them to be.  I often try to remember this scripture and the fact that my journey, my story, and my testimony will not be like anyone else’s.  When I wonder why someone’s life seems better than mine in ways or why someone’s promotion has come before mine, I have to begin to remember that it’s because that’s the path and timeline God has carefully set for them and mine is different because I’m different.   There’s a specific and perfect plan for me and me alone!  I’m definitely working on accepting and embracing that truth today. 

Song to listen to:  “My Testimony” – Marvin Sapp

TRUST

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" - Proverbs 3:5

Trusting God would not be so difficult if we didn't have eyes; didn't have ears; and didn't have hearts.  If we didn't have eyes, we wouldn't be able to see others around us seemingly reeping all the benefits of our hard work and tears.  If we didn't have ears, we wouldn't hear people talk about how great their lives are and how everything just continues to fall into place for them.  If we didn't have hearts, we wouldn't feel the sting of pain as we get on our knees every night, begging God to answer our most desired prayers and awake the next day with the burden of that one prayer still unanswered.

I've struggled alot with trusting God, I'll admit it.  I know it's easy to trust God when all is well; when things are going smooth, when you're employed; when everyone in the family is healthy; when your relationships are going good; when there's money in your pockets; and when things look like they're moving in the right direction.  It's not so easy when your health is failing you; when the person you love has walked out on you; and when you just can't seem to find peace anywhere you go! 

I'm struggling even today with life, with unanswered prayers, with questions that noone can answer for me.  Life is hard!  After you make the decision that you're going to keep living until God says it's your time to close your eyes for good, you have to make the choice to trust God!  It doesn't feel good to trust when your eyes and ears and heart are telling you to give up!  It doesn't feel good when good things seem to happen to  people who are doing all the wrong things.  It doesn't feel good when you've prayed and cried and cried and prayed for years for your dreams to come to life, yet you still can't see them.  But one thing that is getting me through each day even now is that I do believe that God is in control.  I do believe that God has my best interest at heart.  I do believe that God is working on my behalf behind the scenes!  I do believe that God rewards those who diligently seek him!  Even though I get mad at the world and mad at God, I always find myself back on my knees, apologizing to God for doubting him and confessing with my mouth that I trust him.  Even when my heart is breaking, there's one little piece of it that reminds me that if I just keep trusting God things will begin to turn around.

Song to listen to: "I Trust You" - James Fortune & Fiya

"Stand"

"Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." - Ephesians 6:13


Daily living on this earth tends to require each individual to stand for something.  There are people who float through each day kinda going with whatever comes their way.  They go where others tell them, they do what the majority does, they want to be liked and want to lay low and not cause any ripples.  When I was younger, I tried to be like the people I just described.  I never wanted to cause any friction and I believed that if I just went with the flow everything would turn out fine.  When I became an adult I realized that I could continue to go with the flow but everything wouldn't always be just fine.  I realized that if I didn't speak up for myself, my likes, my dislikes, and my desires, I'd go through life unhappy. 

Since coming to this realization, the enemy has been busy crafting ways and situations to stir me up.  Although, I still do not consider myself confrontational, I do realize that I have a voice and that my opinion does matter and should be heard (at certain times). 

Being a praying person, I've submitted many prayer requests to God in the last few years; some have already been answered while others have yet to be manifested.  There have been times when I just tried to stay quiet, just tried to go with the flow, just tried to let things work themselves out, but after a while, I've found myself very unhappy.  At times it is best to be quiet, but then there are those times when you just can't!  I've learned that there comes a time when I must stop talking and just stand my ground.  Standing in the midst of trials is not easy and never will be but after you know that you've done all you can there's really no other choice.  Will I forget about my desires and dreams because others choose to ignore them?  Should I give up on God blessing me by answering certain prayers because it seems impossible for them to come to life?  The answer is no!

Sometimes standing means letting people or things go, it may mean taking a break from something or someone, it may mean shifting your focus, it may mean making new friends or trying new things.  It may mean any of these and some that I didn't mention, but I've come to know that God knows how much each of us can bear, He knows that we all come to an end/a wall with our trials and He wants us to know that He is there to do the rest, to handle the part that we can't. 

The things we can't seem to accomplish on our own, the tasks that seem impossible to finish, the dreams that look like they're on life support, are all the things that we have to give over to God.  Our job is then to stand up tall and stand on God's promises to complete the good work that he began when the ideas, dreams and desires were placed in our hearts.

Song to listen to: "Stand" - BeBe Winans