What happens when we move too fast?

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.(Psalm 27:14)

What happens when we move too fast?  When we become impatient with or tired of waiting on God to answer....What happens when we take matters into our own hands and think to ourselves "I know God is gonna do it but I just can't wait around and let this keep going on?  Or I just can't take it anymore so I gotta do something!"  Sound familiar to you???

Something very basic happened to me this summer and only recently, more than a month later, did I realize the connection to waiting on the Lord.  It's been years since I burned my forehead with a curling iron, but this summer on two consecutive days, I burned my forehead!  The first day it was a spot on my left side forehead and on the second day, it was the same left side but the burn was lower, right where the eyebrow ends, near my temple.  I felt like such joke being nearly 40 years old and still burning my forehead...I should be a Pro at curling irons by now...but anyway it happened :-( 

In the following days the burn darkened to a dark brown scab on each burn, which looked really unattractive to me.  So I decide that I would pick the scab off of the burn near my eyebrow, since it looked like it was getting scaly and would probably start to peel soon anyway.  I just hated the way the burns looked, I felt like everyone was looking at them and wondering what kind of 30-something fool was still burning her forehead???  So I was just beside myself and I started peeling.  When I peeled all of the scab off, the round circle left behind was about 2-3 shades lighter than the rest of the skin on my forehead...so now I'm like "Oh NOOOOO!"  It was too late, so now I had to live with an even more visible scar and answer to why I bothered the scab and look like an even bigger fool!  Well, needless to say, I left the other burn alone!  It was maybe about 4-5 days later when the scab on the second burn began to scale and fall away.  When all of the scab was gone, I couldn't even see where that burn was to begin with!  The skin under that burn blended completely and perfectly into the other skin around it.  And guess what...the other burn...that I helped along by peeling off the scab....to this day, more than a month later...has darkened but it is now darker than all the other skin on my face :-( and now I'm trying to doctor it up with cocoa butter to get it to blend in...more time and more money to spend to correct an issue that never would've occurred if I had just waited on God to heal the skin on the body that He created...hmmmmm

So this is a lesson that I've learned several times before but somehow didn't really process because if I had, I wouldn't have made the same dumb decision again...

But while the lesson is fresh in my mind, I thought I'd share it with you.  100% of the time, if we wait for God to work things out, He works them out better than we imagined...and 100% of the time, when we decide to work things out on our own because we need things to happen NOW, we mess things up and then have to suffer the consequences of our actions... because there always seems to be a consequence!  So on that note, I'm gonna head out to Target and get a cocoa butter stick so that I can try to fix this one, out of place dark spot, that is bugging the heck out of me!!!

Be Blessed :-)

Song to listen to:  "I'll Make It" - Hezekiah Walker

Just Keep Moving...

For our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long, but they will produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don’t look at the trouble we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT)

Let's not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest—if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

Sometimes you just get tired!  Tired of trying.  Tired of smiling.  Tired of thinking.  Tired of wondering. Even tired of praying...

Maybe it's just me...What are we supposed to do when we become exhausted, when we feel like we have nothing more to give, nothing more to say, nothing new to pray.  What do you do when you truly just want to give up?  It seems that no matter how tired I get, I still always have hope that tomorrow could be different, that things could suddenly change even when some tomorrows look just the same as the yesterdays...

I chose two scriptures today because I've been feeling this fatigue in the last few days more than ever. What keeps me hopeful and keeps me moving and looking forward  is God's word and His promises to me and to you. The scripture says "you shall reap, if you faint not" (Galatians 6:9 KJV).  The other scripture says "the joys to come will last forever."  Because of these words, I have to believe that God is faithful and will never change His mind.  His words are true and even though right now it seems like everyday is and will be the same, that is a lie!   

I believe from time to time we all go through what I am experiencing today...fatigue...exhaustion...but there's strength in the knowledge that God understands what we feel and He desires that we not give up but continue to keep looking forward, keep trusting in His word and keep putting one foot in from of the other!  

If you're feeling like me today, meditate on God's word.  Keep reciting His words over and over and from past experience I can say that little by little your energy will increase and your hope will begin to rise and before you know it your strength and joy will be restored.  As you meditate on His words, you will begin to believe more and expect more and you will see His words become reality.  We will reap!  Don't faint and don't give up!

Song to listen to:  You Shall Reap  -Dewayne Woods

Enjoy the Gift of Today...

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34)

 Although most of us look forward to the summer months, we also look forward to the craziness the warm weather brings.  Kids are more free and active, which means they're outdoors, running in the streets and though I haven't done the research, I believe more children get hit by cars in the summertime.  And the adults are just as free and active, drinking more at social events and taking more risks behind the wheel, in the name of having a good time and enjoying the nice weather.  All around it seems crime increases in the summer and what should be a time of joy becomes a time of worry.  Worry about your kids coming and going; worry about being at outdoor events and being in the midst of people who think shooting and stealing from others is fun; and worry that at any given moment someone in the crowd could do something or say something that could turn a warm afternoon into a crime scene.

After being away from the city on vacation for over a week, I came home to news of a woman hit and killed by a car a block away from my home; I heard about a horrific car crash involving a drunk driver that took the lives of a husband and his two young children; and a block away from my job a crazed driver hit two cars and killed a bicyclist, while trying to get away.  All of these events just tore my heart to pieces.  I had trouble being calm.  I became anxious and then fear began to set in.  I felt out of control because worry had grabbed my mind and I just didn't know what would happen next and the scariest part was wondering if something horrible would happen to me, next week, or next month.  When I became completely overwhelmed, I did the only thing I know, I got on my knees crying out to God to relieve me of the fear and heaviness.  After praying, I heard the scripture from Matthew. 6:34.  It came to me out of nowhere, then I heard it in an online sermon, and then again in something I picked up to read.  I know that God was telling me to let the worry go!  

Since then, I've felt lighter.  Are dangers still around? Yes.  Is the news still reporting death and destruction? Yes. But my response to what I see and hear has changed.  Will there be times again in the future when fear creeps up again For sure!  But if I remember to meditate on God's word everyday and look to him for peace, comfort and direction, I know he will provide.

So as we continue to enjoy this season, no matter what this evil world places before us to get us to be worried and afraid, make the choice to enjoy the sun, enjoy being outdoors, and enjoy this day and this moment that God has given.  Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow, while we enjoy today.

Song to listen to:  "How Great Is Our God" -Jonathan Nelson

Appreciate the Good Things...

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118-24)

One of the things that I love most is warm weather!  My favorite season is autumn because the temperature is perfectly in between cold and hot.  I love the breeze; the sound of the leaves brushing up against each other; and the vibrant colors of the leaves on the trees.  I also enjoy the spring and summer but these months tend to be more hot and humid, so I usually do more complaining about how hot is is during these seasons.

On my journey, there have been times when I have become fixated on all the things that are wrong instead of on all the things that are right.  It's sometimes very difficult to make a list of what's right but it's always worth the effort because turning your attention to positive things is healthier and always brings joy to your heart.  When I take the time to think about good things, I always find a smile come across my face.  Especially when I think of something funny a friend said or a joke a relative told, or something silly I saw a toddler do, I start to laugh so hard, I either cry or nearly pee on myself!  I like the feeling I get when I'm happy, when I'm laughing, and when I'm sincerely in that moment filled with nothing but joy.  God's word says "always be joyful" (1 Thessalonians 5:16).  Yes, it takes effort most times but again it's always worth it...isn't it?  There is no value in being sad, depressed, defeated or hopeless.  When you are feeling any of these emotions, you are not improving your health and you are surely not following God's word.  I am guilty of staying in those emotions too at times, and I will never ever deny that truth.  One of the reasons I started writing these blog entries was to hold myself accountable and to keep my emotions in check; it takes work!  Nothing worth having in life comes easy!  If you want better, you have to work at it!

In the past couple of weeks, I've noticed one way that God has been blessing me...the evenings have been so breezy, I almost forget that it's summer.  As small as this may seem to others, this has truly been a blessing to me.  I've spent the evenings sitting on my terrace, feet up on my ottoman, head tilted back on the cushion of my chair and just basking in the breeze.  I've been able to hear the leaves as they brush back and forth  and in these moments, I've found myself silently thanking God.  Not thanking him for a particular prayer being answered but simply thanking him for life, for the ability to feel the breeze, to see the leaves, and to experience his power.

Today, I'm choosing to be appreciative and grateful for the good things that God has placed before me. I believe that there's value in making time to appreciate things that seem small and insignificant, as you keep living to eventually see bigger things come to life.  As I'm focusing on the small blessings of today and this moment I'm feeling joy in my heart, I'm smiling and I truly believe that God is pleased!

Song to listen to "This Is the Day!" -Fred Hammond and James Fortune

Seasons Always Change...

“To everything there is a season…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Right now we are all pretty anxious and excited for the new summer season to arrive.  It was nice when the official start of spring came also but with that I believe that we all saw that as a short rest stop to the two months of warm, sunny weather we all look forward to during the long stretch of winter.

If we think about life as we do about the four seasons, I think we’d all be a lot more happy and hopeful.  We tend to get bogged down during those times of challenge that seem to linger on forever.  We lose hope that anything will ever change; that anything will ever truly get better.  We wonder if these moments of anguish are somewhat of a consequence for something we did wrong or even we sometimes ask God, “is this your plan for my life?”  I know for me, I rarely see hard times as moments in time, I often go to that extreme thought that “this just might be my lot in my life; my burden to bear; and maybe I was meant to suffer while everyone else enjoys the good life.  When you somehow adopt that way of thinking, it’s very hard to dispel it and reprogram your mind to move on with a more positive thought pattern. 

As I think about the scripture above it redirects my attention to what God truly wants us to focus on.  His word says that “there is a time for every purpose under heaven.” “ There is a time to weep and there is also a time to laugh.”  We have to use our energy to meditate on the fact that times change, just as seasons do.  This is God’s design, so no one bad day, bad month, bad year is meant to stay forever…that season will and MUST change.  God said it and He is still in control of all things!

When I was younger, I’d read stories and there was often a line that said “it came to pass that…”  I never knew what that statement meant until I became and adult and began to closely think about words and phrases, as I tried to find meaning in it all.  That statement is truly profound to me now though because every single thing that we face on this earth has “come to pass”, these things  did not come to stay!  If we can just hold on to that thought, I know we could be more joyful and expectant and we’d leave no room for hopelessness or despair. 

As we look forward to this year’s warmer season, lets also look forward to a new season in our personal lives and let’s go one step further and expect that the season we are entering will be filled with new answered prayers, new relationships,  and new opportunities to grow and prosper in everything we are on this earth to do! 

Song to listen to:  "Praise Him In Advance" - Marvin Sapp

When you've had ENOUGH...

"He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord, he said” (1 Kings 19:4)

Have you ever just had enough? Enough of your family, enough of your friends, enough of your job, enough of things not going as you planned, enough of trying to stay positive, enough of life itself?  Well I have and I'm, going through the motions of all of these today!  It actually started two days ago...truth be told, it's been a build up to this point but the bottom fell out two days ago.

Sometimes it seems like the harder you try to be better, and to do better, the more you get attacked or accused of the opposite.  The double-edged sword of family itself can take anyone over the cliff but I'm feeling the wrath of mine right now.  It's fortunate you have family but it's unfortunate when you can't stomach being around them.  We are all different, with our own viewpoints and issues but it's exhausting when you try so hard to put yourself aside and show love and gratitude only to be slapped across the face with their views about how bad and uncaring of a person you are...I ask God, how could I put in so much effort to show that I care and still be seen as this selfish, awful person?  It makes you feel like throwing in the towel...It makes you understand why so many people totally separate themselves from the families they are born into.  It gets to the point where ENOUGH is ENOUGH!  What about life as a whole?  When you stay in prayer; you stay battling negative thoughts with positive ones; you stay being hopeful for tomorrow, only to wake up today to the same old things, without change which makes you feel that you're traveling in circles and getting nowhere.  Maybe it's just me, maybe my life is the only one that is playing out as a losing boxing match, where I keep getting knocked down...sometimes I just wanna stay down on the mat, close my eyes and wake up in Heaven...

It helps me when I see that in the bible, over 2,000 years ago, others also felt what I am feeling today.  Others even asked God to take their life, to spare them from any more of the pain that this life brings.  The Prophet Elijah prayed that he might die; Moses told the Lord "Please go ahead and kill me!" (Numbers 11:14)  If these two holy men had such low points where they felt that death would be better than life, it helps me not to feel as guilty and it gives me strength to go on. Strength comes from knowing I'm not alone and knowing that even after such low moments, I can and will continue on.  My prayer today is that my tomorrows are better than my today...but for now I can only take it one step at a time...and believe that as God's word instructs: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)

Song to listen to: "This Too Shall Pass" -Yolanda Adams

Lonely?

"You know what I long for; you hear my every sigh." (Psalms 38:9)

No matter who you are and what your relationship status is today, you've experienced being lonely. Not so long ago, I believed that I was the only one who was lonely in my world.  After several years of true soul searching, I've realized that loneliness is not simply for single people.  Some people are lonely because they are single, without a spouse; some people are lonely and married; and others are lonely even though they have children and a spouse at home.  

As a thirty-something single woman, I have gone through the heights and depths of loneliness. It wasn't until I opened my eyes and began to look outside of myself, that I found that we all struggle with these same types of feelings.  At times it's heartbreaking to get home at the end of a long day to find yourself spending a long night alone.  It can be just as heartbreaking to get home at the end of the day to a spouse and/or children who don't communicate with you or shut you out of their lives.  Whatever the situation may be, we have to remember that God has promised never to leave or forsake us.  He has promised to supply all of our needs.  And He has promised to answer us when we call on Him.  I know, I know...we can't physically touch God and when you need a hug, you cannot physically feel that closeness but I can guarantee that when you turn your focus in His direction, He will give you peace so pure that it will truly surpass your understanding.

I believe that life is made up of waves...waves of joy, waves of excitement and waves of sadness too and we have to realize moments in our lives as just that, waves of change that come in close and then die down and roll away.  When moments of loneliness seem too much to bear, remind God that He said "It is not good for man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18)...sometimes He will send a friend, sometimes He will send a spouse, sometimes He will send children, but when none of these fit the bill and you still have that longing, know that He has sent the Holy Spirit that is ever-present inside of you and that never fails in giving you the comfort and peace you need to ride the wave out.

Song to listen to:  "Jesus Is Love" - The Commodores

My Testimony

“Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” (Mark 5:19)


Everyone has a testimony to share.  Some are not yet comfortable enough to share theirs and some may still be a little ashamed about where they were and what they were doing when they came to truly know God and his love for them, but at some point, I think we all will come to a place where we understand the importance of sharing our story with others.  

I am no saint, there are things in my past that I have done that I am still ashamed of, even though I know without a doubt that God has forgiven me. Human beings though have a tough time forgiving themselves and I am no different.  Today I want to share one of my testimonies, as there are many, but my heart feels it is important to share this one now.

I grew up in a home where my mother was always preaching the gospel; always quoting scripture; and always telling me and my sisters what was wrong and right in God's eyes.  I am the 4th of 4 girls and when I was younger (school age), I was the quiet one, just listening to all the conversations around me and wondering what everyone was talking and arguing about.  As I got a little older and found my voice, I began to join in the conversation, but by then my older sisters were away in college, so it was just me and my mother and I think she was tired by then and felt like I had heard it all before and that I should know right from wrong, so the conversations were few and far between.  

Growing up, I hadn't really seen a need to know God better.  I mean, my family life was certainly not perfect.  We fought a lot and then we always made up and that was just how it went.  I made it through college without any major events occurring and I was sane and educated and life wasn't perfect but it was ok. After college, I had my first real romantic relationship.  At first, I wasn't all that in love; he was nice; we went on dates every weekend; and we had a good time laughing and having fun.  At some point, I fell deeply in love and hearing my mother in my mind constantly saying "it's better to marry than to burn!"  I felt like we needed to get married because we were doing all the right things to get burned!  Well, at 25, he didn't understand the need and my mother's voice didn't haunt him the way it did me.  Eventually, 5 years into the relationship, we got engaged, and I thought everything was going to work out.  We were going to get married and live happily ever after.  LOL!!!!  Well, it didn't quite work out that way.  From almost the day the ring went on my finger, my life was turned upside down!  His parents, who I thought really liked me, showed me that they didn't like me at all!  I was American born and so was he but his parents were West African born and unbeknownst to me, they had always planned for him to be married to a West African woman.  They proceeded to make me very aware of their feelings and plans and he didn't defend his love and commitment to me and quickly folded under the pressure so we broke up.  I was devastated!  And that's putting it lightly!  I spent the next year of my life in the deepest, darkest pit that can be imagined.  My heart was so shattered that I didn't believe it could ever be whole again.  I was hopeless and I didn't want to live, but thank God I was too afraid to take my own life, mainly because again, my mother's voice rang in my head about the rights and wrongs according to God's word and suicide was not in the "right" category.  That year was the worst year of my life.

In the beginning, I knew about God but I didn't know God and I didn't trust God.  I was in such excruciating pain, and I just wanted the pain to go away.  I woke up everyday in agony.  I was a teacher at the time and I had just started working at a new school that I didn't like so that added to my grief and til this day I can't even remember how I got to that school building everyday.  I was living in such a thick foggy haze.

It was in that year of extreme pain that I truly met God.  I truly began to seek him through praying every second of everyday, out loud and silently. Through taking my sister's advice, I began reading the bible every single morning and night, desperately hoping that I would get some relief from the darkness I was in.  That relief did not come right away though.  I had post it notes all over my apartment and in my car, just to keep positive and victorious words in my sight. I went to christian and non-christian counseling.  I started going to church every Sunday again, because I felt I couldn't survive without it.  I started visiting another church on Tuesday evenings just to be in the midst of other believers in the hope that something miraculous would fall on me and I would be my old self again.  Even after that year, I was never my old self again; I was a new woman with a new heart and mind.  I didn't realize the change that was occurring in me until after that year had passed.  I can't point out the exact date that the heaviness was broken off of me but I realized at some point that I was feeling good again and I was hopeful again and I was smiling again. 

That was 8 years ago, and I'm still nowhere near perfect.  Life is challenging and I still have a lot to learn about God and about faith but because of that deep pit experience, I am now a woman of integrity and standards; and a woman who puts no man before God.  I am confident that God always has me and that His perfect plan will always prevail.

We all have a testimony and I'm asking everyone who is reading today to find some way to share it.  There are others around you that need to hear where you've been so they can see what it looks like to be on the other side of the trials of life.  From that part of my life, I've learned that God is the only true happily ever after and with Him on my side I can make it through anything that comes my way. 

Song to listen to:  "Love Said Not So" -BeBe and CeCe Winans

Everyday is not a Happy One!

"But you, Lord, do not be far from me.  You are my strength; come quickly to help me." (Psalm 22:19)

I keep my distance from people who try to make others believe that they are happy everyday, all the time.  I don't care how many years you've known the Lord. or how holy you think you are, there will be days when you just don't feel happy!  Life is hard!  Very hard!!  And the things you have to deal with in everyday life can really tire you out and get you down.  I do get tired and I do breakdown sometimes and that doesn't make me any less of a Christian!

The times that I can remember saying "life is hard!" to people outside of my family, I can recall the shocked responses.  It's as if they think I'm super-human, without feelings, and without the same struggles and challenges as any other human being or that I somehow shouldn't have these same struggles.  Because I stay in touch with God and pray a lot and try to deliberately speak more positive than negative words, people think I'm getting a pass on the hell that life dishes out!  

This week in particular has been tougher than most.  Disagreements with my mother, loneliness, and simple fatigue with waiting on prayers to be answered have all gotten the best of me.  This week, I don't know what to pray when I get on my knees; I don't know the words to say about the future of my career and the future of my personal life.  And I'm totally confused about what God's will is for me.  I truly believe that everything I've prayed for in the last 10 years, were placed in my heart by God. Nothing that I desire is out of selfishness or greed or envy.  All that my heart desires is written in God's word and is honorable and of good rapport.  But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what the delay is or what I'm doing wrong or what God is doing.  

The word of God says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12).  This scripture shows me that God is aware of the effects of the trials and waiting we human beings deal with.  King David also wrote most of the Psalms, crying out to God for strength to make it through and for God to come quickly to help him!  What I'm feeling and what you sometimes feel (if you're honest with yourself) is not uncommon, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13) I'm often tempted to give up on my dreams and I'm sometimes tempted to give up on my faith but it's impossible for me now because I've met God and I've gotten to know God and I'm in relationship with Him.  I've seen and experienced too much with Him to deny His love, grace and mercy in my life.  I gotta believe that He has not changed and His mind has not changed; He is still faithful!  There is no Plan B for me!  It's me and God and no matter how hard the day or week is, I will not let Him go until He blesses me! (Genesis 32:26)

Song to listen to: "For Every Mountain" -Kurt Carr & Kurt Carr Singers

Questions...

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)

The last month has been filled with ups and downs for me.  It has been a confusing time; a time of uneasiness and a time filled with questions that really just haven't had any concrete answers. Situations regarding health, death, and quality of life have consumed me at times, yet I've continued to reach out to God and to confess the words, "I trust you Lord!"

Trusting God doesn't mean that you understand what He's doing or what He's allowing to occur in your life at any particular moment, but it means that even in the pain and confusion, you know that He is still in control.  Yes, we all get mad with God at times because we think that we know what should happen to resolve all of the issues in our lives (most of the time), but the truth is we only know what we see and what our emotions lead us to feel.  God sees what we cannot see, "I make known the end from the beginning." (Isaiah 46:10).  While we are feeling all that comes with the trials in our lives, it's hard to remember and believe that God knows what He's doing.  

With recent medical issues with my father; the death of one of my friend's infant nephews; and the sudden decline in the health of another friend, I've wondered about why things happen the way they do.  I wonder what the good is in all of these things.  The scripture does say "All things work together for good" (Romans 8:28) but I just can't see the good sometimes.  Could it be that since God can see our tomorrows, that our pain and heartaches today are working to prevent us from things that would be even worse in our future?  Could it be that the end of a relationship today prevents you from the tragedy that individual would cause in your life 10 years from now? Could it be that the termination from your job today could lead you to your next job where you'll meet the person who'll become your business partner 5 years from now?  One thing I do believe without a doubt is that everything happens for a reason.  I won't deny that just like Jesus on the cross, I wonder "God why have you forsaken me?" We feel forsaken and we feel abandoned but the truth is...these are simply feelings and not realities.

As we continue to live, our only hope is in God.  He has not left us and He is very aware of the details in each of our lives.  In the uneasy moments and dark hours, instead of asking why have you forsaken me? replace that with "I trust you Lord!"  You may be crying as you say these words; you might be angry as you speak these words, but don't let feelings and emotions change what you know to be true.  "I am the way, and the truth and the life" (John 14:6)

Song to listen to: "My Life Is In Your Hands" - God's Property

"Give Him the Glory!"

“It happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” (John 11:4)

One of the strongest characteristics of human nature is the urge to think about and question things.  The urge to ask “why?”  “Why is this happening?; Why did you do that?; and Why did that happen?”   There are an infinite number of why questions for sure, but what I’ve come to understand is that there is not always a specific answer for those questions, no matter how many times you ask or how passionate or frustrated you get!

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  One of the first questions asked when Jesus arrived was “why did you wait four days before coming?”  This is so familiar to me because I often ask the Lord the same thing in my daily life.  Small and big trials lead me to ask “what is this all about?” or  “why are you taking so long?”  Sometimes an answer comes eventually but most times I have to find comfort in knowing that I might not understand the reason but God always does.  One of my parents has been very ill over the last few years and there have been so many times that I asked God what was happening and why.  Today, as I was reading the story of Lazarus the above scripture stuck with me. 

God wants us to know that He is in control of all things, including life and death.  Usually when we are blessed with a new job; with a new relationship; with a healthy child; with a new home etc., people congratulate us as if it’s something we did to gain these blessings.  We always say thank you, but the truth of the matter is that we should be saying , "give all thanks and praises to God!"  I thank God today that I know that nothing I have or am is due to my effort!  I am perpetually imperfect and incapable, so I know all that I am is only because of God’s love, grace and mercy.  God blesses us and answers our prayers because He wants us to know his faithfulness and to praise Him as we share our testimony with others that don’t know Him in the way that we do!  It’s really not about us…hard to believe right??...It’s not about you!!! 

Just as in the story of Lazarus, the trials; the people we've written off; the dreams we think are dead and buried can all be resurrected with one touch from God!  Even if it’s been months or years, that doesn't mean that the Lord won't stop by and make all things new.  So during your current trial(s) or during the one(s) to come remember this, no one season of joy or pain lasts forever!  Get ready to give Him the glory!

Song to listen to: “Give me a clean heart” –Greater Mount Calvary Church

" Be You!"

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139: 14)

I often wonder what my true purpose is on this earth.  I wonder what I'm supposed to do; where I'm supposed to live; and what mark I'm supposed to make in my life.  I've been able to come up with small purposes, or what I consider to be "small purposes," but I still feel like my bigger purpose is a mystery.

I'm a very "thought-full" person, as one of my friends pointed out to me recently.  I think a whole lot about a whole lot of things...sometimes I annoy myself with how "thought-full" I am!  Sometimes I wish I could turn off my brain and just not think about anything!  In the last few years, I've become a pretty good observer of character because of my depth of thought, LOL!  My sister has on many occasions said "Some people were sent, and some just went!"  This is so funny to me, but also very true.  As I think about my purpose and what God wants to do through me here on earth, I believe that part of my purpose is connected to ministry.  Not so much to getting up on a pulpit and preaching the gospel but to minister in some other way that will connect to people and somehow bring them closer to God.  Many times, I see those people my sister talks about.  I see ministers presenting sermons that are dry and void of emotion; I see teachers presenting lessons with no enthusiasm; and daily I see people doing jobs they are clearly not meant to do!  "Some are sent and some just went!!!"

I understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't feel joyful about to get to where we are truly meant to be, but other times, I believe we try to force ourselves to fit into places, relationships and situations because we think that's what we want or we believe that's what others see as successful and meaningful.  I'm guilty of this, I am drawn into this, and I often think way too much about what people are thinking of me instead of what God thinks of me and has created me for.

What I have learned in all of this is that there is a perfect plan for each one of us...my plan may be and look very different from yours, but that doesn't make it any less valuable or useful in this world.  I don't want to be one of those people who's determined to force myself into a mold, position or role to prove something to the people who should feel blessed to be in my life :-).  I sincerely want to be the person God created me to be...flaws, annoyances and all!  My life so far has definitely not played out as I thought it would or should but I know it's played out the way God knew it would and there is purpose in every inch of it!

Let's take time today to get excited about  how God is going to get us to where He wants us to go in this world and let's try to think less and rely more on God as the driver and let's be conceited about how fearfully and wonderfully He has made us! Be You! No one else can Be a better You!

Song to listen to:  "God's Gift" -Jeff Majors (feat. Kelly Price)

Disappointed?

"Anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.." (Hebrews 11:6)

Do you often find yourself feeling disappointed with where your life has taken you so far?  Are you disappointed today that what you had planned didn't or hasn't worked out the way you thought it would?  If you're anything like me, you can answer both with a "YES!"  It's ok...don't beat yourself up over how you feel or feel that you are being ungrateful because you have these feelings.  Even if you deny that you've felt this way, God knows the truth...your truth.  I struggle with these feelings often and even today I'm trying to push past what I feel.  Some days it's real easy to shift my thinking to a more positive and grateful place, but other days it seems to hold onto me like a leech.  
I've read a lot of the bible in the last 10 years and the strongest weapon I've found are scriptures to fight this war on disappointment.  I've committed some to memory that are very powerful in speaking to feelings that attack our minds and can lead to hopelessness and even depression.  As Christians, we are not called to be perfect, pain-free, fearless and without worry but we are called to use the weapons we have in God's word to fight these battles for us. "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword." (Hebrews 4:12).  I know that it is not easy, especially when you are doing all that you can to live according to God's word yet you don't see, in the here and now, any benefit in it.  When I feel this way, I meditate on the scripture that says "No good thing does He withhold from those who do what is right" (Psalms 84:11).  As funny as it sounds, I do believe that if I do my best, God will do the rest :-) .  On those days when I feel like a fool; when I feel like everyone is looking at me and pitying me; when I think every enemy I've ever had is laughing at me and my faith, I meditate on the scripture that says, "Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame." (Romans 10:11).  And when I feel overwhelmed with feelings that I'm just not progressing, like I'm stuck in a holding pattern, like life is passing me by, I mediate on the scripture that says, "All things work together for good to them that love God." (Romans 8:28)...Even the things that seem bad to us...even when we see others receiving the blessings we want to see in our own lives...even when it seems like nothing is ever gonna change, we have to deliberately remember that all of these thoughts and feelings are lies.  I love what some preachers have said "Fear is False-Evidence-Appearing-Real."  Let's remember that these lies are only the enemy's lies to cause fear in us and to make us give up on God and His promises.  Today, make some time to go through the bible and find more scriptures that you can use on this battlefield.  The more scriptures you have in your memory, the stronger you'll be and the more power you'll have to overcome the feelings and fears that creep up on you.. 

Song to listen to: "I Understand" - Smokie Norful

He Has Us!

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

I don't know why it is, but I tend to forget that nothing happening in my life is a secret from God...nothing has happened or will happen without His approval.  He has the master blueprint; the final script; and all executive rights to add, delete or revise my life story as He sees fit.  

I know that I am not the only absentminded one out there because my close family and friends also encounter situations on a daily basis that I hear about, where just like me, they try to figure out how to solve the problem or how to get this person or that person to change their mind or how to get themselves out of  uncomfortable or unbearable seasons of life.  When I get to the end of my rope (of myself) and throw up my hands, I often remember "God is In control!"  God already knows my today, tomorrow, and beyond.  

I've heard more than once that if we only knew all that God was doing on our behalf; all the battles He's fighting; all the obstacles He's moving; all the people He's creating; and all the pieces He's placing at just the perfect points  along our specific journeys, it would be too overwhelming for us to  digest or comprehend.  It would literally blow our minds!

I believe, we'd all be a lot healthier and a lot happier if we woke up every morning and remembered right away that God already has the day planned.  If we remembered that all we had to do was to step into the day of blessings already prepared by Him.  If we could only remember to begin each day with sincere thanks and praise to our Father who knows every hair on our head, how much greater would our lives be?

That's my prayer for me and everyone reading this today, that God would help us to remember more about His power in our lives and less about the people, places and things that serve as the backdrop to  the extraordinary plan and purpose that He has for each of us.  

Decide today to move forward, knowing that He is our God and He is upholding us with His righteous hand!

Song to listen to:  "Incredible God, Incredible Praise"  -The Praise, The Worship feat. James Hairston